_ Joe Lechner
Below is a message sent for you, dear praying unmarried woman, by a woman who has been married for thirty four years, discussing the importance of courting.
" In my opinion it is advisable for young people to court before marriage.
Courtship is the process of developing a romantic relationship before marriage. The period of courtship varies, for some one year, for some six months, for some three years or more.
This is the period two adults of the opposite sex study each other’s behaviour - likes and dislikes. What unites them or not. It is a period when they ask questions and also reflect on the idea as to ''Is this relationship worth the pain? Is it workable? And so on.
It is a time of self examination and re-examination.
AS A CHILD OF GOD,
Make sure you will not go with anyone who violates God's commands.
Do not go with someone your parents will disapprove.
Make sure you will not go with someone who will encourage you to compromise your Biblical convictions!
Do not go with someone who will make your service to God miserable."
From Patricia
Marriage is definitely a good thing because it is ordained by God (Genesis 2: 18 - 24) from the beginning. After creating everything and Adam, God took a look at him and observed that 'it was not good for the man to be alone...and decided to make a helper (a wife)suitable for Adam.
ReplyDeleteThe point therefore is for men and women who are considering marriage to seek God's face to find out if their potential partner is 'suitable' for them. Just like our faces and names are different, so is every individual's definition of suitable. Thus, here are some suggestions for a christian:
i) take the idea and your plans for marriage to the Lord in prayer;
ii) then observe (during courtship) to see if the potential life partner has the fear of God in them. Here, one will really need to depend on the Holy Spirit to help them discern the true character of the person. This is because we human beings are good at hiding our true characters especially when we feel we desperately want a relationship with someone. This is really important because one needs to ascertain that the person shares ones faith in our Lord Jesus Christ even if the two people are at different levels in their relationship with God. Other issues that may matter to some (not all) people are race, family background or age differences;
iii) Be honest and real in your daily dealings and contact with the person;
iv) Test your ability to communicate with the person, and his/her ability to communicate with you;
v) see if you are at peace or comfortable with the person even when they annoy you. This is when to see if there is love, because love covers all things;
vi) Is the person kind, does he/she respect or care about your feelings. Would he/she protect or disgrace you in public even when they feel your behaviour is embarrassing and you do not think it is;
vii) Do not be in a hurry, just take one day at a time, trusting that you will know when the time is right to propose (for the man) and to say yes (for the woman).
viii) Ask close friends and family members to pray for you
ix)Discuss real issues like finances, housing and how you will keep a home as a couple, children etc...;
x)Establish a habit of praying and studying the word together. Study what the Bible says about families particularly husbands and wives e.g Ephesians 5: 22 - 33; 6: 1 - 9 and many more... and then
xi) Pray trusting that you will hear God right, see Him clearly, and have the courage to obey Him, when you have been able to ascertain that the person is 'suitable' or 'not suitable' for you.
May God help us all in Jesus name...!