Dear Praying Unmarried
Woman,
With my experience of
being married for over thirty years, here are a few advices that I would
suggest you pay attention to. I call it “The 7 Keys to a Successful
Beginning”.
1. Always
pray to God to bring the right future partner across your way.
In a world of over six billion people, you
meet people of all walks of life and the chance that you make a mistake in
choosing the wrong partner, is not unlikely. Living a prayerful life is vital
as you want God’s guidance in the decision you make regarding your future.
Be a prayerful person
for God hears and answers prayers according
to His will. He said '' ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and ye
shall find and knock and the door shall be opened unto you''.
Note that it is according to his will. What parent gives their child
something that is not good for them talk less of God Almighty.
2. Courtship is very
important.
Courtship is like the
appetizer before the meal. It shows you a glimpse of the person’s personality
and temperament. During courtship you learn the basics about your future spouse
and in those instances you can determine whether to say “I do”. If you feel
that there is an issue that bothers you about the person you are courting it is
important to raise the topic because as a spouse you cannot change your
husband. Also know that it is never too late to call it quits on the
relationship if you feel that the person is not a suitable partner. You do not
have to wait for the invitation to be sent and the bridesmaids’ dresses to be bought,
before you change your mind.
3. Know your future partner's family
background
Scientists say that we
are made of two things, and that is nurture and nature. Nurture is how we were
raised up and how the environment where we were raised plays a role in our character.
Carefully analyze the family of your intended spouse and see whether you can
live with them. Someone once said, “you do not marry only a man, you marry his
family as well”. So, I advise that you know the family background of your
intended spouse. Because, we are usually the replicas of our parents.
PS: The way your parents
have brought you up may be different from the way his parents brought him up.
The values your parents may have emphasized may not have been emphasized by
his. So do not be angry when you do not share the same light on certain issues.
4. Communication is the best key in any
relation
Any relationship
without communication is not a healthy relationship. You do not want to be in a
situation where you cannot voice out your opinion. Let’s admit it, women like
to talk more than men but as women let us find a balance where we can also
listen.
It’s simple:
a) Be a good listener
b) Contribute in
communication where necessary, do not be a careless talker.
5 Humility
Marriage will require
a whole lot of humility from both parties. In the course of your marriage your
husband will definitely step on your toes and you likewise. Humility will allow
you to say “I am sorry” even when you feel you are right, especially for the
sake of peace.
Still talking about
humility; do not put anyone down or feel superior to the other person.
6. Let the other person know your Do’s and Don'ts.
7 Never say I will change him/her because
you cannot change any grown up person. It is God that changes human beings either
through life experiences (for example through the ups and downs in life.)
Some people say love is
blind; love is blind for those who want to be blinded by it. Praying young
woman, you need the spirit of discernment to know the right or the wrong
person.
Youth is the best part
of our life, guard it preciously. Life is so precious; please do not waste
it with regrets and “Had I known”.
May God empower you all
with the gift of the Holy Spirit always in Jesus name amen.
