7 Keys to a Successful Beginning

Dear Praying Unmarried Woman,

With my experience of being married for over thirty years, here are a few advices that I would suggest you pay attention to. I call it “The 7 Keys to a Successful Beginning”.

   1.        Always pray to God to bring the right future partner across your way.

In a world of over six billion people, you meet people of all walks of life and the chance that you make a mistake in choosing the wrong partner, is not unlikely. Living a prayerful life is vital as you want God’s guidance in the decision you make regarding your future.

Be a prayerful person for God hears and answers prayers according to His will. He said '' ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and ye shall find and knock and the door shall be opened unto you''.

 Note that it is according to his will. What parent gives their child something that is not good for them talk less of God Almighty.

2. Courtship is very important.

Courtship is like the appetizer before the meal. It shows you a glimpse of the person’s personality and temperament. During courtship you learn the basics about your future spouse and in those instances you can determine whether to say “I do”. If you feel that there is an issue that bothers you about the person you are courting it is important to raise the topic because as a spouse you cannot change your husband. Also know that it is never too late to call it quits on the relationship if you feel that the person is not a suitable partner. You do not have to wait for the invitation to be sent and the bridesmaids’ dresses to be bought, before you change your mind.

3.   Know your future partner's family background

Scientists say that we are made of two things, and that is nurture and nature. Nurture is how we were raised up and how the environment where we were raised plays a role in our character. Carefully analyze the family of your intended spouse and see whether you can live with them. Someone once said, “you do not marry only a man, you marry his family as well”. So, I advise that you know the family background of your intended spouse. Because, we are usually the replicas of our parents.

PS:  The way your parents have brought you up may be different from the way his parents brought him up. The values your parents may have emphasized may not have been emphasized by his. So do not be angry when you do not share the same light on certain issues.

4. Communication is the best key in any relation

Any relationship without communication is not a healthy relationship. You do not want to be in a situation where you cannot voice out your opinion. Let’s admit it, women like to talk more than men but as women let us find a balance where we can also listen.

It’s simple:

 a) Be a good listener

b) Contribute in communication where necessary, do not be a careless talker.

5  Humility

Marriage will require a whole lot of humility from both parties. In the course of your marriage your husband will definitely step on your toes and you likewise. Humility will allow you to say “I am sorry” even when you feel you are right, especially for the sake of peace.

Still talking about humility; do not put anyone down or feel superior to the other person.

6.  Let the other person know your Do’s and Don'ts.

7 Never say I will change him/her because you cannot change any grown up person. It is God that changes human beings either through life experiences (for example through the ups and downs in life.)

Some people say love is blind; love is blind for those who want to be blinded by it. Praying young woman, you need the spirit of discernment to know the right or the wrong person.

Youth is the best part of our life, guard it preciously. Life is so precious; please do not waste it with regrets and “Had I known”.

May God empower you all with the gift of the Holy Spirit always  in Jesus name amen. 

"He's your Prince Charming, but you're not his Cinderella?"

“A lot of young women are patiently waiting for a prince charming, but please realize that no one is perfect, not even you!”

I was in the process of writing something for you dear praying unmarried woman, when this quote came to mind and I realized that it is actually very true. 

We as women have come to expect a prince charming. Someone who fulfills all the aspects in ‘our list’, of what we want our future husband to be, however we don’t bother to work on ourselves. We neglect the fact that the manner we judged others (potential suitors) it may be the same way that others are judging us. “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the same measure you use, It will be measured to you” Matthew 7: 1-2

“I have discovered over the years that when singles want to get married, they spend a lot of energy looking for the right person. Somehow, people just assume that when they reach a certain age, they are ready for marriage whether or not they have developed the right qualities and values. 

Marriage is not about your age but character, commitment, discipline, patience, kindness, humility [and much more].

People do not have good marriages because they wish or pray to have a good marriage; it takes a lot of hard work[ to have a successful marriage]. 
This is why it is very important that we not only marry the right person but each of us must also be the right person for the man/woman we intend to marry.”(Odukoya)

“The Art of a Good Marriage”

by Wilferd Arlan Peterson

"A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the "little" things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say, ”I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values, and common objectives.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is not only marrying the right person -- it is being the right partner."

"I Love him, that will take us through"

“I have discovered that choosing whom to marry based on romantic feelings alone, is often misleading. Romance tells us nothing about character and is extremely unreliable as a method of determining the viability or vitality of a relationship”-B.Odukoya

       If you use the butterflies that you feel, as the basis for marriage than I must say that you are making a grave mistake.  I am not underestimating the need for romantic feelings to be present in a relationship but marriage needs far more than just the feelings to survive the obstacles that life brings your way. In today’s world with the outrageous divorce rate, the majority of the couples who end up in a messy divorce would testify that they once “loved each other”.

So, is marriage about ‘love’? Not entirely.  What those who opt for a divorce seem to misunderstand is that marriage was not promised to be a smooth ride nor a bed of roses like Hollywood portrays, on the contrary. 


Let’s turn to the Holy Bible for a minute. Locate 1 Corinthians 7 verse ²⁸ which states that “those who marry will face many troubles in this life” (NIV) .
The Bible does not promise you a perfect fairytale like the majority of young women envision, but plenty troubles. As youths, there seems to be this notion that “once I get married all my troubles are gone” but this is just a myth. 


     Brace yourself and depend on God, and God alone. Invite Christ Jesus into your relationship, at least with him you are sure that when the storms are raging(which they will);he won’t be too far to help. 

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” 
                                                                              Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT)

To Know Now is Better than to Regret Later...

The Video above is taken from one of Myles Munroe's Sermons. It explains some of the basic fundamentals that ought to be known about the opposite sex. Many times we neglect to take into account the differences that exist between the sexes and dive straight into matrimony. Stay tuned for more of these intriguing revelations on this blog.

"Dr. Munroe is an internationally-renowned author, lecturer, teacher, life coach and government consultant and leadership mentor"

Advice to the wise...

So, I was going through my day routinely when I suddenly decided to check the inbox, dear praying unmarried woman, and was pleasantly surprised to see this letter written for you. I know without a doubt that you will be blessed by these advices as it was thoughtfully written for your benefit.

"Marriage is a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, NOT A WOMAN TO A WOMAN OR A MAN TO A MAN.

Many people happily enter into marriage with the hope that it will last a lifetime. Unfortunately, some couples are so preoccupied with the immediate benefits of marriage that they fail to thoroughly weigh the realisms involved in a lifetime commitment. 

Based on my premarital experience, I suggest the following on how to prepare for a successful and God glorifying marriage.

Seek God`s Approval: Ask God for insight and listen for God`s answer, be obedient to God`s instruction because lifetime decisions without God`s direction can lead to disastrous results.

Assess the relationship: Consider your motives in marrying: Are they right ones have you developed a real friendship, and do you communicate with one another or is most of your time spent getting physical.

Discuss major Issues: Personal expectations, finances, and in-laws are three universal issues that can cause serious problems if not addressed beforehand. Observe the actions and reactions of your spouse to be when these issues are discussed. This will give you some idea of what to expect after the wedding.

Seek premarital counseling early: Part of the traditional wedding service states that ``holy matrimony, which is an honorable estate, instituted of God is not to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly.”  You and your fiancé or fiancée should get a godly counseling, both jointly and individually.

If in doubt, Don`t- If you are having second thoughts, postpone the wedding, talk openly and honestly about your feelings with your spiritual adviser or counselor. Taking time to be sure is far better than spending a lifetime being sorry, miserable, and angry with your spouse or yourself, do not allow yourself to be pressured into marriage by people or circumstances.

Know what God requires of you: God expects you to honor your vows and will hold you accountable to them. Realize that the commitment is for as long as you both shall live, not until the better gets worse, the health becomes sickness, or the money gets scarce. God`s plans is for lifetime commitment.

There are no fifty-fifty percentages in marriage: Both persons must determine to give one hundred percent regardless of the return. Making a lifetime commitment means that you cannot just conveniently change your mind if communication goes bad, your needs go unmet, your mate gains weight, or your feelings change- not if you want to maintain a right relationship with God.  At those times when the glow of romance dims, trust God to provide you with sufficient grace, wisdom and guidance to see you through.

Take time to prepare honestly and prayerfully for a lifetime commitment. It can mean the difference between glorious and successful and failure in marriage.

God bless you."

“To Court Now or Go to Court Later?”

“Courting is not casual dating with a Christianized name, it’s not the rubber stamp of the certainty of a future marriage. However, it is a special season where you seriously weigh the possibility of marriage; its purpose is to discern God’s will for marriage; it’s a season of deliberate, open and careful consideration of the possibility of marriage.”

                                                      _   Joe Lechner

Below is a message sent for you, dear praying unmarried woman, by a woman who has been married for thirty four years, discussing the importance of courting.

" In my opinion it is advisable for young people to court before marriage.

Courtship is the process of developing a romantic relationship before marriage. The period of courtship varies, for some one year, for some six months, for some three years or more.

This is the period two adults of the opposite sex study each other’s behaviour - likes and dislikes. What unites them or not. It is a period when they ask questions and also reflect on the idea as to ''Is this relationship worth the pain? Is it workable? And so on.

It is a time of self examination and re-examination.

AS A CHILD OF GOD,

Make sure you will not go with anyone who violates God's commands.

Do not go with someone your parents will disapprove.

Make sure you will not go with someone who will encourage you to compromise your Biblical convictions!

Do not go with someone who will make your service to God miserable."

                                                                      From Patricia

“1, 2, 3...let’s learn the foundation.”

May I say one thing…? (This is the part where you pick up your notebook to take notes)… There is no you, without him. And no, I do not mean your future husband; I’m talking about the creator of heaven and earth.

      Having said that, let’s establish the basics and the fundamentals to any relationship you begin. Jesus Christ should be the solid rock which you rely on in this journey of life and excluding him from one of the most important decisions in your life such as marriage, is not a smart idea. The choice of who you will marry is so vital to how your life will turn out in the end, as you are joining your destiny to another person’s destiny, that you do not want to make a careless mistake based on emotions.

You are the one who will decide whether or not you will marry that man, so I suggest you choose wisely but above all CHOOSE to set the foundations right!

     In your state of “singleness” learn to become close to God, as you seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness so that all else will  be added to you, even a godly spouse (Matthew 6:33). A pastor once advised a congregation of youths to “master the voice of God” at this stage in their lives because as apostle Paul noted once you are married your focus will be divided as you will seek to please your spouse and not God alone.

“An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs-how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided” (NIV)
   1 Corinthians 7:32-34

Dear Praying Unmarried Woman,

This blog is created to the glory of GOD for every young woman whose desire is to one day get married and enjoy the blessings of having a good foundation in her happy home. My prayer for you is that this may be your portion as the LORD leads you to your half.


Furthermore, I want this to be a medium for women to advice other young unmarried woman. I believe that there is a reason for every experience one had to pass through.Through this blog  any woman can spare another from making the same mistakes and/or advice her on how to enjoy a blissful home as she is.
Any advice ,testimonies or links are welcome
and can be sent to her.prayers@gmail.com


Let's get this blog started!




PS: this blog is created in joint effort with you as you send any information you can :)